One beer. Fifteen seconds. The anxiety was gone.
with Daniel Andersson
Daniel Andersson used to run an experiment on himself. He would open the first beer of the afternoon, count to fifteen, and the anxiety would be gone. “Like magic,” he says. “I couldn't feel any anxiety whatsoever.”
That is why it took him so long to stop. It worked.
His last drink was the final day of November 2018. He was living in Tokyo — a manager, a father of two, a man everyone thought was doing well. His daughter had started asking why he smelled strange. Nobody ever said, “Daniel, you have a problem.”
In this conversation he tells the whole story: a Swedish village where every boy played football and every Friday was about drinking. A father he adored and could never resemble. One free year in Florence at 21, and the emails from that year his mother showed him decades later, in which he barely recognised how happy he had been.
Then 2019 — twenty-five kilos gone, two years of near-solitude, and one desperate afternoon when he locked the bathroom door, prayed a prayer he had not said since childhood, and felt a hand on the back of his neck.
He talks about the woman who gave him back his sense of being a man, at forty, after years without so much as a hug. About his daughter asking at dinner to move to Sweden. About meeting Hannah at a comedy club and being asked, on their first date, how he receives love — and having no answer.
And about what sat underneath all of it: he was afraid of men. Today fifty of them meet him every Sunday in Malmö at Lighthouse, the community he founded. Nothing leaves the room. Nobody gives advice.
Moments
I could drink one beer, count to fifteen seconds, and the anxiety just went away like magic.On what drinking was actually for
No one said: Daniel, you have a problem, let's talk. And I wasn't open for it either.On the conversation his family never had
I'm forty years old, and I haven't had as much as a hug in years.On what nobody counts
Waves crashing in, and the light is on. I want to be that.On why he called it Lighthouse
Chapters
- 00:00The experiment
- 00:14Welcome to the show
- 00:40The question before the story
- 01:27The last drink, November 2018
- 03:06What alcohol actually did
- 04:25A village where Friday was liberation
- 07:20Florence at 21
- 08:36Wanting his father's approval
- 10:10What his father never said
- 12:59Tokyo: career, title, identity
- 15:39The more he did, the less happy
- 18:00Waiting for five o'clock
- 19:01Nobody said the word
- 20:35Why he walked onto a comedy stage
- 22:03Sobriety as a promise on stage
- 24:03Twenty-five kilos, and two years alone
- 24:51The woman who gave him his value back
- 25:27“I want to go to Sweden”
- 28:54The prayer, and the hand on his neck
- 36:15Meeting Hannah
- 38:34“How do you receive love?”
- 39:17The fear of men
- 41:50Emergence Brotherhood
- 43:20Money, title, and what he chose instead
- 44:51More of a man, or less?
- 45:16The retreat that took the fear away
- 47:29Lighthouse: fifty men in Malmö
- 52:14The rules of the room
- 54:39What he still doesn't talk about
- 57:23A Kundalini awakening in Spain
- 1:02:30Psilocybin, supervised and legal
- 1:11:54A message to the next generation
- 1:16:43Where to find Daniel
- 1:17:12The book: Love Longer
- 1:18:41For whoever finds this in a hard hour
Where to find Daniel
- Website
- danielbertandersson.com
- @dbavibrationer
- TikTok
- @daniel.bert.ander
- linkedin.com/in/danielbertandersson
- His podcast
- Daniel Bert Andersson Podcast